They saw her bruises before she vanished. They now fear they failed her

- ADVERTISEMENT -

At first, Mamta Kafle Bhatt’s co-worker believed her when she said the bruises on her face came from a fall.

But when she showed up for her nursing shift in February crying and hurt again, Sunita Basnet texted her the number for a domestic violence hotline.

“Thank you so much di,” Kafle Bhatt replied, using the shortened version of didi – big sister in Nepali.

- ADVERTISEMENT -

“I would like to try couple counseling to give him one chance for being a better person,” she continued, in an exchange reviewed by The Washington Post that Basnet said referred to Kafle Bhatt’s husband, Naresh Bhatt. “I realized I love him so much. I don’t want to put him in trouble.”

Not long after, Kafle Bhatt transferred hospitals and stopped responding to Basnet’s messages, Basnet said. Then, nearly four months ago, the 28-year-old pediatric nurse stopped calling her family in Nepal. She missed her final U.S. citizenship appointment and her daughter’s first birthday.

A grand jury indicted Naresh Bhatt, 37, on a murder charge this month. Prosecutors allege he dismembered her body and disposed of it in pieces, using gloved hands to toss bags into a trash compactor late at night. DNA tests linked her to blood found on a handheld power saw. His lawyer, Shalev Ben-Avraham, declined to comment on the case or allegations of mistreatment in the months leading up to her disappearance.

In interviews with The Post, friends and family publicly detailed for the first time the domestic abuse they believe Kafle Bhatt suffered. Police said they were called to the house only one time before she vanished, and the incident was categorized as disorderly conduct rather than domestic violence. As loved ones reflect on their memories with her, they remember her nurturing nature and commitment to caring for others, but they linger on moments when she confided her marital issues and wrestle with what they could have done differently. Now, they’re speaking out in hopes others will recognize the signs of abuse before it’s too late.

“She deserves to have a legacy,” said Holly Wirth, a former co-worker and friend of Kafle Bhatt’s. “Because of her, there’s going to be an army of people who aren’t afraid to ask the uncomfortable questions: ‘Are you okay? Do you feel safe? It’s okay if you don’t.’ I failed her on that. But I’m not doing it again.”

Wirth spearheaded efforts to publicize her fellow nurse’s disappearance, which captured international attention and galvanized dozens of police and community searches. Kafle Bhatt confided in her that she was having troubles at home after her daughter’s birth in August last year, Wirth said, but never mentioned abuse.

Kafle Bhatt said then that her husband didn’t want to take care of the newborn, complicating her return to work, Wirth recalled. She said she referred her to an employee assistance program.

Now, Wirth said, she replays the conversation in her mind ceaselessly, wishing she had asked more questions.

– – –

A shattered illusion

At the end of July in 2021, Kafle Bhatt walked off a plane from Nepal at Dulles International Airport to red roses and hugs from Bhatt, a post on her Facebook account shows. Three years later to the day, police say, he killed her in a bedroom of their home in Manassas Park, Virginia.

In her telling of their story, posted nearly daily to social media, Bhatt was her partner – a brave U.S. Army veteran, doting father and romantic husband. Her friends and family saw videos of them sightseeing in D.C. set to a song titled “I Wanna Grow Old With You.” The couple went to the beach. Photos show him carrying her into the water and their names encircled by a heart in the sand. In captions, she called him “meo raja” – my king in Nepali.

In the years leading up to her disappearance, Kafle Bhatt checked off milestones to the ideal life, right on time: a nursing license, a pregnancy and an elaborate baby shower with photos of Bhatt kissing her belly. They welcomed a child, bought a new Tesla and celebrated a new home.

Even her mother, Gita Kafle, said that she thought her daughter was living her dream.

In Kafle Bhatt’s twice-daily calls home to the Kavrepalanchok district of Nepal, Gita Kafle said she did not share anything negative about her marriage or life in America, more than 8,000 miles away.

In an interview in Nepali after Naresh Bhatt’s arrest, Gita Kafle said it would make sense if her daughter, a strong woman and natural caretaker who had long dreamed of the life she appeared to be living, had tried to protect her mother from worry.

“I was concerned, I would miss her,” Gita Kafle said. “But she looked happy and excited to come here with her husband.”

For some close to Kafle Bhatt, an incident in February shattered the illusion.

On Feb. 20, Basnet said Kafle Bhatt called her sobbing to say she would be late for her night shift at the hospital. When she arrived, her face was bruised and swollen.

It had happened before. That December, Basnet said, Kafle Bhatt had blamed her injuries on a fall. This time, Basnet said Kafle Bhatt confided in her that her husband had been abusing her for months.

At 11:35 that night, she sent Kafle Bhatt the number for the National Domestic Violence Hotline and five links to Virginia-based resources for victims, messages reviewed by The Post show.

That same month, Sarita Neupane said, she opened her front door to find Kafle Bhatt bloodied and seeking a place to stay. In an interview, Neupane said her close friend arrived with her 7-month-old baby but no money or functioning phone.

Kafle Bhatt told Neupane her husband had emptied their joint bank account and shut off her phone line. Neupane says she bought her friend a phone and pleaded with her to call the police.

Prosecutors have referenced the February incident in hearings, saying Kafle Bhatt sent her brother, Mahesh Kafle, a photo showing blood on her face and swollen eyes. Mahesh Kafle confirmed this in exchanges with The Post, saying in an August interview that Bhatt beat his sister “uncountable times.” After the February beating, Mahesh Kafle said, his sister expressed fear something worse could happen to her. But, he said, she thought staying with her husband was best for her child.

After just one week staying with Neupane, Kafle Bhatt agreed to a meeting with her husband, in-laws and some of their friends. In the meeting, Neupane said, she decided to return home and work to keep her family whole.

That meeting is one of the last memories Neupane said she has of Kafle Bhatt. Neupane said Bhatt forbade his wife from seeing Neupane, but the two would occasionally exchange messages on Facebook or run into each other at the grocery store. Each time, she says her friend would assure her things were better or shoot her a secret smile.

“I thought if they are happily living, it doesn’t matter to me if she’s talking to me or not. If that would stop him from hurting her, I’ll do it,” Neupane said. “Now, I feel terrible.”

Kafle Bhatt grew increasingly isolated as time went on, friends say. After Kafle Bhatt transferred to a different hospital, Basnet said she would continue to reach out from time to time. She sent her last message Aug. 1, asking how she was doing. By then, police believe, Kafle Bhatt was already dead.

“I would have done anything to protect her,” Basnet said. “She is a person, she is a mother, she is a good worker, and for me, she is like my child and like my little sister. I loved her – I love her.”

– – –

Near misses

The year before she vanished, Kafle Bhatt left clues she might leave.

Her social media history shows she sought out single mothers for guidance and, friends say, called a lawyer and rented her own apartment. In February, police records show she called 911, then changed her mind. When the police arrived, she’d later tell Neupane, she couldn’t bring herself to report her husband.

Manassas Park Police Chief Mario Lugo said that he remembered the call pertained to the couple having an argument, but that it was categorized as disorderly conduct, not domestic violence. No body-camera footage exists from the incident, Lugo said, because it has been longer than the federally required retention time of six months.

Domestic violence survivors return to abusive partners an average of seven times before leaving for good, said Katie Ray-Jones, CEO of the National Domestic Violence Hotline. In Kafle Bhatt’s case, Ray-Jones said, two things were working against her: her baby and her immigration status.

She said the hotline receives countless callers who report they are reluctant to leave abusive situations because they are afraid of losing custody of their children. Plus, she noted, these fears are intensified among noncitizens who are often disadvantaged by the legal system. Research shows violence peaks when victims try to leave, Ray-Jones said.

For people like Kafle Bhatt – who had a green card but not full citizenship – the prospect is even more fraught. Abusers may threaten to destroy legal documents, Ray-Jones said, or otherwise hamper efforts to achieve full citizenship and the independence that comes with it.

On Feb. 6 and 16, posts from Kafle Bhatt’s Facebook account appeared in a closed group for single mothers in the Washington region, seeking advice on navigating marriage separation and retaining custody of her baby. In follow-up comments, she appears daunted by the legal system, writing that she is new to the United States and has no money because her husband emptied their joint account. Bandita Dahal, a local Nepali attorney, said Kafle Bhatt messaged her on Facebook in February seeking legal advice. Dahal sent her office’s information but said Kafle Bhatt never called.

Shortly after the 911 call, Neupane said, Kafle Bhatt decided to leave again. This time, she warned Neupane it was not safe for her family to hide her from Bhatt. Instead, she found an apartment in Falls Church, about 20 miles east of Manassas Park. Within a month, Neupane said, Kafle Bhatt was back home.

Her supporters say these near misses haunt them. Ray-Jones says they did everything right.

Domestic violence victims cannot be made to leave, she said, and trying to force them to flee can actually put them in more danger by making the abuser feel out of control or threatened. Instead, the most important things supporters can do is offer a nonjudgmental space and provide resources for victims to use once they are ready.

“The guilt family and friends often feel is real, and we really want to make sure that is shifted to the person that is causing the harm,” Ray-Jones said. “It’s hard because you care about this person so very much and you just want to get them out. They have to be ready to make that decision themselves.”

Ray-Jones took interest in the fact that prosecutors say Kafle Bhatt disappeared just a week before the appointment that could have earned her U.S. citizenship.

“The whole root of domestic violence is power and control,” Ray-Jones said. “If there was a fear that she was going to have independence and freedom … that would be the most dangerous time for her.”

Related posts:

Community intensifies search for missing Manassas Park mother Mamta Bhatt Indian-American to lead pre-eminent celebrity-driven magazine ‘Vanity Fair’ Chicago rocker Anand Bhatt fuses Indian and Latin music and food A family’s billing experience with a Missouri hospital